List of things I hate #3

List of things I hate #3 This is not an exhaustive list on the topic. In fact, it may be an inexhaustible topic. There are older lists of what I hate. So todays post is merely my most recent list. Which is notable because hatred is a process. Neurologists have proven that love and hate are closely related, and I have found its hard to hate a person unless I am also close to that person, and the same is true for a topic. In that vein, life is the process of expanding our love and our knowledge, and I suppose, our hate. So here are some things that I have recently reached the point of thinking so much about that I feel qualified to hate them: 1. Sarcasm The use of sarcasm is always inappropriate. Sarcasm reveals insecurity and cynicism both things that make a person unlikable. Sarcasm is always negative in meaning, and the tone is always disparaging. On top of that, people who use sarcasm think they are being funny, but this is a poor mans humor; because comedy is about timing. You say it, then theres a beat, and then people laugh. With sarcasm, you say it, theres a beat when someone realizes youve said something you dont mean, and a beat to process what you did mean. The timing is off. So comedians rarely use sarcasm because its not funny. And top performers dont use sarcasm because its mean. 2. Getting bids If something is so important to you that you are spending enough time on it to collect bids, then you shouldnt get bids. Because if its so important to you, give it to the person who will do the best job. And if you think you can swindle someone into giving you a deal, well, why do you think theyre so good if they dont even get market price for their work? If your project is important, find someone who has done it before, with someone who was great. And hire that person. You could get another bid, but the work would be different, right? And you should hire someone who does good work. And if everyone does the same work, then pricing cant be that varied its a commodity, priced the same across the board so you dont need bids. 3. Maternity leave Its not that I dont like the topic. I dont like that people think this is an area fraught with controversy. This is not a gray-area area. This is a right answer/wrong answer area. Dont tell people youre pregnant if youre not showing. Hide the bump as long as possible. This is your right. And you have this explicit right because everyone knows that even though its illegal, women are penalized when people hear they are pregnant. No one trusts theyre coming back after the baby, so the project flow goes dry or gets boring. Also, you do not need to know if you are coming back to work full time after the baby. Tell your employer you are. Change your mind later if you want. This is reasonable: no one could guess how they want to raise their kids until the kids are there. Take paid maternity leave no matter what. Its your right. And the fastest way to post-partum depression is to take no time off to recuperate. (I know from my own experience.) So even if you quit when maternity leave is over, take paid leave. The US makes women earn maternity leave. Youve earned it already. You dont need to work more after. 4. Pseudonyms Heres what I read in Car and Driver magazine: The most popular name for upscale strippers to use is Lexus. Do you know what this tells you? Pseudonyms are for strippers. If youre being your real self, doing things that bring you self-respect, why have a pseudonym? And if you dont want to claim what you are doing as your own work, ask yourself why you are doing it. Here is a post about how using a pseudonym made my life a mess. And heres a post about pseudonyms undermine your career, which is ironic since people are usually thinking they need a pseudonym to save their career. 5. Lack of hate My son came home from preschool and told me that using hate is against the rules. I told him that discerning people hate things, and I encouraged him to think of something he hates. (Bowser, a bad guy in Super Mario, for those who are curious.) Recognizing that we each love and we each hate is part of the process of knowing ourselves. Talking about it is part of the process of letting other people know us as well.